Thursday, September 30, 2010

Red Mask

Red Mask is a short film which stars Elmo Magalona and Julieanne.  It was a 3 part film and the last episode aired last Sunday.  I enjoyed watching because it reminded me of my teenage life where we had crushes, and our first puppy love.  But those were carefree times and nothing really serious was going on because all I had in mind was to have fun in a responsible way and enjoy being a teenager.  I am proud to say that I never gave my parents a headache during my teens.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

At last i cried

At last I cried
After trying to hold the feelings inside
Finally it all came pouring out
Like the heavy rains on a dark and stormy night

I find great relief
That at last I am free
Free of these feelings
That had long imprisoned me...

Now the big question is
What am I gonna do?
Should I try to break free, 
or forever be blue...

I choose to think rather than feel
because I know that my heart
has been tired all these years.

Let destiny take its course
Let the fates decide...
But for now I am happy
That at last I cried...

Saturday, September 25, 2010

A Doctor in a Software Company..

     What are you dong in a software company?  That is the follow up question I would get whenever friends or relatives ask me where i am currently working.  I am a doctor by profession, but for the last 20 months I have been working as an EMR physician in a medical software company.  

     But before I got this job, I was a pre-resident in a private hospital under the residency training program for Internal Medicine.  Although the resident doctors were all very nice, the toxicity level of going on 24 hours duty, coming to work early and going home late was just too much for me.  I could not handle taking care of sick people, while one of my kids is at home running a fever and I am not around.  I wanted to be there for my kids while they still need me, and so I quit.  Others may not understand the decision I have made, but I didn't care, because I know that whatever happens, family comes first.

     There are times when I would miss working in a hospital.  I am even afraid that I might have lost my clinical skills because I am not actively practicing medicine.  But I know that this work that I have is only temporary.  I am still planning to pursue residency training because I know that is what my father would have wanted for me, to be a "real doctor" as what he said when we last talked.  I am planning to apply for training by next year, if things go according to plan.  But for the meantime i am enjoying the perks of working in an office setting, because:
  • I do not go on 24 hours,
  • The pay is way better than in the hospital,
  • I can sleep peacefully and not worry about toxic patients in the ICU
  • I do not need to worry about journal reporting and M&M conferences
  • I do not have to deal with the stress of telling the relatives of my patients that their loved one has died.
  • I get the weekends off
  • I am able to spend time with my kids
     Even if I miss wearing my scrub suits, and having my stethoscope over my neck, I am enjoying what I 'm doing right now, because I know I would soon say goodbye to the corporate world and face the reality that I am a doctor, and maybe, just maybe I could finally convince myself to go back to the hospital life I left behind.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Heart Photos

I love hearts.  I enjoy looking at photographs or images with "hearts" in them.  Maybe because it is a symbol of love, and considering that I am a hopeless romantic I find myself searching for images with hearts and compiled a few here.
the last 3 photos I edited myself and added some beautiful lines ♥

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Happy Mornings

My daughter woke up one morning making all these funny expressions and so I started taking her pictures much to her delight.  I enjoy waking up in the morning with the kids.  It's fun to cuddle up and be drowned by hugs and kisses from my two angels. 

That is why I enjoy working in an office setting because I get to spend weekends with the kids, and sleep out late especially on Sundays.  I wake up with both my kids beside me and looking at their faces I feel so blessed to have them in my life. 

I savor these moments because I know I'm gonna miss it when they are all grown up.  But for now I enjoy waking up to happy mornings with them

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Missing my Toenail

2 months ago, I had my toenails surgically removed because of an infection caused by swelling of my right big toe.  This was after I had a pedicure from someone who really insisted that she knew how to remove an "ingrown".  Even after I repeatedly told her to leave my "ingrown" alone as I was not used to having it taken out, she still had her way, and that left me with a right big toe, swollen like the size of a grape fruit.

Sadly I was told that my right big toenail had to go, as there was no other way for it to heal by itself, and also to avoid recurrence of the swelling in the future if I get pedicures again, which I doubt I would.

So on a Thursday afternoon,l I headed to the hospital where my husband's friend would be the one to perform the procedure.  As I lay on the surgical table at the room where minor OR procedures where performed, I was concerned first of the appearance after the nails were removed, the pain I would be feeling was my secondary concern. 

My husband was with me during that time, he was telling me that the injection of the anesthesia was the painful part, and so I prepared myself for the worse When I felt the needle pierce my skin, I so badly wanted to scream, the pain was nothing I imagined, worse than the spinal anesthesia during my C-section.  It all happened so quickly, before I knew it my nails were removed, totally detached from the toe.

I thought that was the end of my nightmare, but I was wrong.  The pain when the anesthesia wore off was worse than it was when the anesthesia was being injected.  I had to take pain medications round the clock.  Not to mention that my right toe looked really ugly.  I cannot even bear to look at it.  I had to take 2 days off from work because applying pressure like walking or maintaining a certain position would cause for it to bleed.  But after about a week or so, the wound was already dry and there was no need for me to wrap it in sterile gauze.

I have been patiently waiting for my nails to grow back, and at last I see a small part of my new nails emerging from the nail bed.  Barely reached half way, but at least it's there.  A new nail for my right toe.  Now I never have to worry with having a funny looking, nail-less right toe.  And the good thing that came out of this experience?  I learned to do my own pedicure, I had to learn it the hard and painful way though.

Cool Blogging Accessories

 Bumped into this cool website that features backgrounds, buttons and blinkies for your blog, and everything is for free.  You just need to download them and your good to go.  I enjoy the vintage look of the buttons and I am actually using those in this blog.  Really cute.  Thanks to the owner of this beautiful site.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Stay happy

"Always strive to be happy, no matter what!"

Thank God for Fridays

"Friday at last".  The usual phrase I utter whenever the 5th day of the week has arrived.  Since I started working in an office setting, I only work during weekdays unlike when I was still in the hospital where everyday is "work day".  I have come to love this day of the week.  It means that the weekend is just around the corner and I have 2 days to spend with my kids, my husband (when he's not in the hospital), and doing what I love to do like finishing up on a  book, watching a good movie, or whipping up something in my little kitchen.

I so love Fridays.  It gives me something to look forward to whenever I'm starting the week really bad, makes things a bit easier.  So instead of saying "Thank God It's Friday", I would rather "Thank God for Fridays", because for me it means good things are about to begin...

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Bills to Pay... My monthly nightmare!

It's the time of the month when all my bills start to pile up.  There's the rent for the house, the electricity, water, phone, internet, not to mention the credit card and my mobile phone.  I hate BILLS!! It's like a nightmare that haunts me over and over again.  I often wish I was still living with my parents and not worry about all the bills to be paid. 

But since I have a family of my own, it is now my responsibility to take care of the bills.  I guess the reason why we work hard is to be able to cover what needs to be paid right?  And at the same time save a little for the future.

I know it's kind of childish for me to whine about this, and I seriously think I need to stop feeling bad whenever something needs to get paid, these are necesseties and not luxuries anyway.  And in reality it's as if I have a choice, Bills are Bills, and they need to get paid, and there's nothing I could do about it!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Despicable Me - Movie Date

For days, my husband has been telling me that the new animated movie, Despicable Me is a must-see and that surely our son Andre would enjoy the movie.  I was a bit hesitant because the character of the movie was kind of mean-looking, of course the title would speak for itself. Despicable has a negative connotation right?  But anyways, after days of prodding I finally gave in, and so on a Sunday afternoon we all went to SM to watch the movie in 3D, because we wanted to see if Andre would enjoy  a different kind of movie experience.

It was good to know that the ticket came with a freebie, a choice between a hot-dog sandwich and a bucket of popcorn.  That was a good thing because all I had to do was buy ourselves drinks.  That day, I was craving for a banana shake, so i went to grab one at Thirsty, and then bought drinks at the refreshment counter for my boys.  While paying for the drinks, I placed my banana shake on the counter,and totally forgot about it until halfway during the movie.  Explains why I felt as if I was missing something... too bad, the cup was still half full when I left it.   Anyways, the movie was really not that bad, I must admit I had fun, especially looking at all those tiny yellow creatures.  Where they robots?  I really don't know.  But Andre had a blast as well.  He was really amazed with the 3d effects, and would reach out his hand whenever things seemed to come out of the screen.  What I would not forget was when he said, "Mommy, these are cool glasses, I want one for home when Andre watch TV".  I was quoting my son, and what he means was that he wanted 3d glasses for himself when he watches TV at home.  So he was a bit sad when we had to return the glasses after the movie. 

The movie was okay for me.  The story was really funny and heart warming.  It is a proof that there is a good side hidden within each of us.  We just need to let that good side come out of its shell and show itself to the world.  What made the movie worth it for me, was to see the joy in my little boy's face and hear him laugh.  Andre had a really good time and for me that was what matters.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

What is Life?

Friday, September 10, 2010

Memoirs of an EMR Physician

Last February 2010 marks my first year as an EMR physician. Having been working in a hospital for almost a year, this was a whole new experience for me. But I embraced the opportunity to be working in this company whole heartedly. I could still recall my first day in the office, I felt like a new student on her first day of school. I did not really know what was in store for me. I was nervous but excited at the same time. 

I was told that I would be working on customizing templates for the clients. So I had to familiarize myself with the system, join trainings and practice creating templates based on the exams that was given to me. After almost 2 weeks of training, before I knew it I was given clients to handle on my own. I was told to interact with clients to discuss customizations that were needed for the templates, I was a bit apprehensive, but I knew that communicating with clients is important to be able to deliver and give them the quality service that they need. 

In time, I gained confidence in what I was doing. I would look forward to the forms that were being sent, and figure out a way how to make them into templates. I would admit that I love what I do in this company. I find great joy in being able to help clients make their practice run smoothly by creating templates that would help them in their medical practice. I understand the need for doctors to be able to document each patient visit accurately. Things were not always that easy though, we would encounter some issues every now and then, but we would always find a way to resolve the problem with the help of our colleagues.

A doctors goal is to serve others by providing health care to their patients, but as an EMR Physician, my goal is to make life easier for my clients by helping them with their templates and keeping them happy and satisfied with the services we provide. Looking back on the year that was, I could say that it was like a roller coaster ride, with the ups and downs and some twists and turns along the way. I learned so many things I would never learn outside of the company, I gained new friends, met interesting people with different culture and backgrounds and most of all, being in this company has helped me realize that there are no limits to what we can do, if only we put our hearts and mind into something.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Confessions of a Grocery-holic?

If women who love to shop are called shopaholics, what do you call those who love going to the grocery? Grocery-holics?  Is there even such a word?  Who cares anyway, as long as it would describe the excitement of being inside a grocery store.  I'm a confessed Grocery-holic, and proud of it!

 When did this all start?  I guess this started way back childhood.  I guess being in a grocery store brings back memories for me, because this was one thing both Mama and I did together.  Whenever she would go to the grocery I was always her assistant, pushing the shopping cart was my task.  And my reward?  I'd get to pick out something I like, candies and junk food when I was younger. Then when I got older,  colognes, personal choice of shampoo, lotion or anything that caught my fancy.  It was really fun, up until I reached college, I would still volunteer to go with her to the grocery store.  I enjoy going to the grocery, it may sound funny to others, but that is the truth.  When I started to do my own grocery, meaning spending my own money to buy grocery for the house, it was exciting, to the point that I was buying things that were not really necessary, and I would always exceed my budget.  But I now I am proud to say that I have started to be a wise shopper.  Before I go to the grocery, I would list down things that I need to buy and mentally calculate that I don't go beyond budget.

So today, I went to the grocery and my first stop was the wet market, I bought a kilo of pork and one whole chicken,  Still thinking what I'm gonna do with those, but for sure the chicken is going to be fried as per my son's request.  I picked out the vegetable I would be cooking for today.  As i passed by the fruit section, I decided to take a photo of the apples on display, all red and juicy, then there were those green ones too, but no fruit on my list for today since we still had bananas at home.

Next stop, condiments, grabbed a pack of vinegar and soy sauce.  I just buy the refills since I still have the bottles at home, that is one way of saving,  A kilo of sugar, cooking oil and breading mix for the chicken.  A carton of milk for Andre and Yakult.  Next toiletries section, and then grabbed a pack of diapers.  Next stop, something to munch on while watching TV, I stopped by a shelf full of Pringles, I was so tempted to get one, but I settled for Marty's vegetable chip instead, healthier and less expensive, LOL!!

Well, I think I have got everything on my list covered.  My grocery cart is half full and I'm heading to the counter to pay for all these stuff.  I had a wonderful time, and I can't wait for my next trip to the grocery.  I feel contented and happy as a kid.

Friday, September 3, 2010

100 Ways to keep Yourself Happy

1. Never put yourself last.
2. When you extend a helping hand to one person, be careful not to kick someone else in the teeth.
3. Always own a pair of old, faded jeans.
4. Count your blessings every day.
5. Acknowledge your successes along with your downfalls.
6. Burn the candle that has been in storage for the last two years.
7. Strive for progress, not perfection.
8. Remember, the voice telling you that you cannot do something is always lying.
9. At least once a day sit and do nothing.
10. Don’t close your heart so tightly against life’s pain that you shut out life’s blessings.

11. Celebrate all your birthdays no matter how old you get.
12. Examine your life for limitations and ask yourself why you put them there.
13. Plant a tree, pull weeds, or get your hands dirty.
14. Diminish your wants instead of increasing your needs.
15. Cry when you feel like it.
16. Rejoice in other people’s triumphs.
17. Don’t wait for someone else to laugh or express joy.
18. Forgive yourself for any mistake you make, no matter how big or small.
19. Keep good company.
20. Never take a pill for a pain you need to feel.

21. Use your enthusiasm to put yourself in forward gear and give yourself a spark to move ahead.
22. Look in the eyes of the ones you love when you are talking to them.
23. Remember that one is a whole number.
24. Walk in a summer rain shower without an umbrella.
25. Do a kind deed for someone else.
26. Keep your eyes and ears open to get the messages you need from people and events in your daily life.
27. Be patient.
28. Eat something green.
29. Change what you can and leave the rest alone.
30. Walk hand and hand with truth.

31. Make laughter and joy a greater part of your life than anger and grief.

32. Embrace solitude instead of running from it.
33. Be zealous, not jealous.
34. Forgive anyone you’ve been holding a grudge against.
35. Slow down and enjoy the present.
36. Walk in others’ shoes before judging them.
37. Send yourself a kind message.
38. Remind yourself that the company you keep is a reflection of what you think of yourself.
39. Go on a picnic.
40. Accept your fears, no matter how crazy they seem.

41. Don’t let other people’s opinions shape who you are.
42. Say a prayer.
43. Never attribute your accomplishments to luck or chance.
44. Know when to say no.
45. Look at the positive side of negative situation.
46. Remember that you are a spiritual being in a physical body.
47. Avoid seeking out other people for constant approval, because it make them the master and you the slave.
48. Go fly a kite.
49. Avoid fads and bandwagons.
50. Accept the things you cannot change.

51. Look inside instead of outside yourself for answers to life’s problems.
52. Remember that all feelings are okay.
53. Shield yourself from bad influences.
54. Stand up for what you believe in.
55. Respect the wishes of others when they say no.
56. Seize every moment and live it fully.
57. Give away or sell anything you haven’t used in the past five years.
58. Never downgrade yourself.
59. Take responsibility for what you think, feel, and do.
60. Pamper yourself.

61. Never say or do anything abusive to a child.
62. Let yourself be God powered instead of flying solo.
63. Volunteer to help someone in need.
64. Refrain from overindulging in food, drink, and work
65. Finish unfinished business.
66. Be spontaneous.
67. Find a constructive outlet for your anger.
68. Think about abundance instead of lack, because whatever you think about expands.
69. Think of yourself as a survivor, not a victim.
70. Cuddle an animal.

71. Be open to life.
72. See success as something you already have, not something you must attain.
73. Experience the splendor and awe of a sunset.
74. When you score a base hit, don’t wish it were a home run.
75. Learn to be in the present moment.
76. Instead of believing in miracles, depend on them.
77. Take a child to the circus.
78. Change your attitude and your whole life will change.
79. Never turn your power over to another person.
80. When your heart is at odds with your head, follow your heart.

81. Always remember that the past is gone forever and the future never comes.
82. Live your life according to what is right for you.
83. Acknowledge your imperfections.
84. Plant a tree and watch it grow.
85. See “friend” instead of “enemy” on the face of strangers.
86. Watch an army of ants build their houses and cities and carry food ten times their weight.
87. Believe in something bigger than yourself.
88. Let the playful child within you come out.
89. Make haste slowly.
90. Work through your problems step by step and one day at a time.

91. Accept compliments from others so you can see the truth about yourself.
92. Sit on the lawn without worrying about grass stains.
93. Don’t condemn yourself for your imperfections.
94. Do a humility check periodically by loving the truth about yourself.
95. Tell someone you appreciate them.
96. Never live your life according to what is right for someone else.
97. Talk less and listen more.
98. Admit your wrongdoing and forgive yourself for it.
99. Thrive on inner peace instead of on crises.
100. Affirm all the good things about yourself.

Best friends

“People who love you
people who you love back
people that will always be there for you
through the good times and the bad
they make you happy when you are sad
they are angels that have yet to earn their wings
they are your dearest friends” 

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