Monday, April 18, 2011

Jar of Hearts

The lyrics are beautiful...  and the song speaks for itself...

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
You lost the love
I loved the most 

And I learned to live, half-alive 
And now you want me one more time 

Who do you think you are? 
Runnin' round leaving scars 
Collecting your jar of hearts 
And tearing love apart 
You're gonna catch a cold 
From the ice inside your soul 
So don't come back for me 
Who do you think you are? 
I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are? 

Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

What Life is About

But life is about who you love 
and who you hurt.
It's about how you feel about yourself.
It's about trust, happiness and compassion.
It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love.
Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence.
It's about what you say and what you mean.
It's about seeing people for who they are
and not what they have.
Most of all,
it is about choosing to use your life.
to touch someone else's
in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise.

These choices are what life is about.

Monday, April 11, 2011

I Choose To be Happy

Today I have decided that I want to be happy, 
I want to feel good about myself.  

I choose not to think about things that would irritate me.  
I need to stop worrying about tomorrow, 
but rather focus on what I can do for today.  

I want to be a better version of myself each and every day.  
If some people may not approve of me, 
or thinks differently about me, that is not my problem.  

I can't change myself according to what others want me to be.  
I have my family and my friends who love me for ME 
and I am blessed to have them in my life.  

As long as I know that I am not stepping on anyone's toes, 
I will continue to live my life according to how I know God wants me to live it.

Happiness is a CHOICE  
and today I am making that choice for myself.

Friday, April 8, 2011


 How does it feel to be emotionless?  
To not feel any thing at all... 
to detach one's self from feeling anything.  
There are instances where I want to be in that state, 
of not being able to feel anything.  

No hurt, no anger, no sadness.  Just nothing.

 I guess that would make me indifferent, but I would rather be indifferent than pretend to be OK when I know that I am not.  So I am starting to filter my emotions, knowing that this is for the best.  

The words that were said, can never be taken back.  There is no remedy, there is no cure.  What has been broken can never be fixed.

 I have to start healing, I have to erase all the memories, let go of all the feelings and just move on.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Irrational Fear

I secretly have an irrational fear, and that usually comes up when I am faced in a situation wherein I am reminded that it does exist.  That fear is towards "someone", but out of respect I want the person to remain anonymous.  I have recently been reminded of that person, and all of a sudden all the emotions and memories came rushing back.  It has been my source of stress for the past couple of days, and I can't believe that after all these years, it could still hurt so much.  The painful words that were thrown at me, I could still hear them at the back of my head.  I don't know why I can't seem to forget.  Maybe because deep inside I have so many questions.  I want to understand why I had to endure all the hardships I have been through during those times.  I guess the reason why I can't seem to get over it is because I have not had the opportunity to confront and ask all the questions that has been bugging me.  I can't even start to talk about it because it would suddenly bring tears to my eyes, and I would feel the anger, the hurt and the resentment all over again.

I guess for now I have to live with that fear, and learn to accept that it would always be part of my life.  I can't pretend that it does not exist, because it does!!  I just hope that one day, I would learn to overcome it. Talk about the past without a hint of regret, think about the past without ever having to feel any pain.

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