Monday, July 30, 2012

Random Thoughts on an Ordinary Day

It's just one of those days when you look forward to something and then you keep on waiting for that moment to come.  But in the end you realize that nothing special is going to happen to you.  That this is just like any ordinary day when things are pretty much routine and predictable.

Truth us, how you live your life depends on how you perceive it.  You don't have to wait for special things to happen, sometimes you must make it happen for yourself! 

Be grateful, even if things don't go as planned, because in reality no matter how messed up or how depressing life can be, the mere fact that you are actually breathing and alive is reason enough for you to believe that you are blessed.  

So live your life well, and believe that one of these days, when you least expect it Amazing things are going  your way...

Monday, July 23, 2012

All Will Be Well

Today I woke up feeling grateful that at last Andre is well and back to his old self.  He has been sick for almost a week, and I am not used to seeing him just sitting around or lying in bed.  The only time he ever gets up is when he needs to go to the bathroom.  

Our trips to the hospital has also been stressful.  I was just silent the whole time he was crying after a blood extraction,  and telling me he was mad at me for lying at him.  He made me promise they would not stick any needles at him at the hospital, but I broke that promise.  I told him I was sorry and just hugged him until he feel asleep, tired from crying.

What got me through each day is thinking that "all will be well".  These are little bumps in the road of life an d no matter how stressful it can be, we should never allow it to dampen ours spirits.  I do get scared when my kids get sick, but I don't allow them to see me in a panicky mode.  I would always put on a happy face and tell them that Jesus will take away whatever is making them sick and that everything will be okay.  

I have always been the optimistic type, and I have this belief that when you tell yourself that things are going to be okay, you will yourself to believe that "all will be well", and in the end somehow things do turn out to be okay... and if you're lucky they turn out to be even better.  So today and everyday, trust that all will be well.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The Challenges of Being a Mom

Being a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me. But I must admit it's not a walk in the park as most people would imagine. As the kids grow older, I am faced with different challenges, especially since they both have different personalities, each special in his or her own way.  

Andre is a sweet kid, but can be stubborn sometimes especially when it comes to school related stuff. He could not understand the local dialect and I suppose it is one of the reaons why he's not exactly thrilled to be going to school.  He would tell me "Mommy, my head is about to explode because I can't understand a thing they're saying."  It broke my heart hearing him say that, and I felt so frustrated and helpless.  I would just talk to him and tell him that he needs to go to school so he could work when he grows up.  Andre and I always end up arguing whenever it's time to study or make his assignments.  But I need to be more patient with him because I know he is still adjusting.

But with Micah, it's the opposite,  I never have to remind her to study because she's the one telling me if she has homework.  I would tell myself at least I have one of my kids eager to go to school. Micah has a strong personality, she's very frank and straightforward that sometimes I'm afraid it would get her in trouble when she's older.  The only time we end up arguing is during meal times, she's a picky eater and would take forever to finish her food.

Gone are the days when things were less complicated, when all they ever did was eat, sleep and play.  When they were babies they would cry whenever they're hungry, now it's the opposite, they would cry when you want them to eat.  As much as I want to give them everything, I need to be firm and not give in to all their demands.  It breaks my heart when they see me as the enemy, but at a young age I want them to realize that we can't have everything in life.  I know I'm not a perfect mother, but I try my best to be a good mom to my kids.  If I need to be the bad guy, then so be it, as long as I know that what I am doing is for their best interest. There are occasions when I'm being pushed to the edge but I try my best not to loose my temper.  

Motherhood I guess is a lifetime career, because at one time your kids would be totally dependent and would want you with them 24/7, the next time you know it they're all grown up and eager to spread their wings.  But what's important is that your kids know that whatever happens you will always be around.  My own kids are just starting to explore the world, and as for me I know that there would be more challenges up ahead, it has been tough and I know it will be but I would not trade it for anything in the world.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Life as an EMR Physician:The Second Chapter

Last Monday was my first day at work, but I got the chance to meet the team when they invited me for dinner a few weeks back.  They were fun to be around with and everyone was so nice that at least I only felt a little bit nervous about being in a new work environment.

 It's just been two days since I started, and so far the only thing I am adjusting to is the travel time.  Our office is far from where I live so the travel time is quite longer than what I'm used to, but I really don't mind.  I am just so grateful that everyone has been so nice to me and made me feel really welcome.  I also got the chance to be introduced to our CEO who's based in the US and I could not believe how humble and kind he was.  He considered his employees like they were his family and he made sure that everyone was respected and treated fairly.

I am optimistic about being part of the company and to be working with a great team here.  I may not be sure about what tomorrow has in store for me, but at least today I could say that I am happy.

Dinner at Parklane Hotel with the team.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Daily Affirmation Cards

There was a time when all the pressures and stress at my previous workplace was stirring up negative thoughts and feelings inside of me, and I knew that I needed to do something about it.  So I started to read inspirational quotes, Bible verses (thanks to the application I downloaded from the Android market) as well as daily affirmations to myself.  I got the "daily affirmation cards" idea from Kind Over Matter, a very inspiring blog which also feature tons of freebies and printables.  

The Daily Affirmation cards gift set comes from 4 different authors and you need to download each from their own blogs.  I also decided to give out some to my friends who I hope would be inspired by these positive statements.  

Let me walk you through how you can make your own "Daily Affirmation Cards".

- First you need to have a print out of all the daily affirmations and cut them one by one.

- For the box where you would be placing your cards, you need to download a pattern,  just search for it on any search engine and print it out, and gift wrapper or any cute printed paper to cover the box.

- I personally added these cute little flower pot holders to go with the affirmation cards, so you can place it on your desk at work or at home, and continue to be inspired  every day.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

A Letter to the 26 years old Me

A few weeks back, my son was asked to bring a baby picture of himself to school that they would be putting on the walls of their classroom.  So I had to rummage through some of the old photos I kept.  I was supposed to arrange them in an album, I had been putting them off for quite some time and I promised myself to work on them over the weekend.  Just to be sure I had to write it down in my "to do list".  

As I was going over the photos, I came across my graduation pic from med school.  It was taken 8 years ago to be exact.  I was staring at the picture and thinking, if I were to say something to the younger me what advice could I give her?  So I suddenly thought of doing something silly and write myself a letter, so here it goes:

Dear 26 years old Chin-Chin,

          I really love this graduation photo, this was much better than the college graduation photo you had when you were 21 years old.  You look so happy here, probably because life was much easier for you despite the toxicity of being a medical student, things were always manageable.  I know you have your parents to thank because they always made sure you and your brothers had everything you need.  You never had to worry about anything.  Who would have thought that in a couple of weeks after graduating from med school everything would change.  Just when your batch mates were all preparing for their internship, you were preparing how to break the news that you were pregnant.  I know you were terrified not because you were going to have a baby, but because you know how disappointed your parents would be when they found out.   You were probably expecting the worse on the evening you were called to their room. They were asking you why you have been so awfully quiet and locking yourself up in your room during the past few days.  No answer came out from you, it was your father who broke the ice by cracking a joke and telling you that if Ross was going to ask permission to get married that he needs to wait until he passed the board exams.  I know how difficult it was for you to say what you were going to say next knowing that it would totally break their hearts.  So you just blurted out you were pregnant, mumbled an apology and expected a scene straight out of the movies where the daughter was slapped, the mother crying and hysterical and the father getting his gun and rushing over to the boyfriends house.  The silence was totally deafening, but then you felt an arm on your shoulder and your parents telling you not to say sorry, reassuring you that things were going to be okay and that a baby was a blessing from God.

          You knew from that day forward that things were going to be different.  That so many things were about to change.   At 26 years old, you had to give up your long time wish of walking down the aisle with your wedding gown  and chose to be practical.  While your friends were living their dream, you had to put your own dream on hold and focus on how to be a good mother to your son.  Another blow came to you when you found out Ross was being sent to Manila right after passing the board exams.  You heard the news roughly a few days before his scheduled departure.  You panicked and it seemed your whole world was falling apart.  It was not easy and for a moment you wanted to give up then, but you had to be strong for yourself and for Andre.  If there was one thing you were always thankful for, was that your parents were always there for you in whatever it was you were going through. 

          You still had to go through so much in the years to come.  You would learn that people can hurt you in so many ways, but only if you let them.  In time you would learn to shut down all the hurtful and bad memories because they would tend to hold you back.  You will realize that the love you used to have would change over time, but at the end of the day you will always choose to go back to that one love no matter how imperfect it may be.  You would find yourself enjoying a job you totally had no idea what it was at first because it opened up a whole new window of possibilities for you.  You will find new friends but definitely keep the old ones close to your heart.  You would still cry and get broken hearted once in while, you may be frustrated at times especially when things don't go as planned.  But as always, you would find yourself picking up the pieces or standing up again believing that whatever difficulties we are facing, it would all turn up okay in the end. 

          I'm sorry if there are times when you feel disappointed with yourself, but I want you to know how proud I am of you.  Don't ever think you made some bad choices, it was probably the timing that was not right.  I know how much sacrifice you would go through for your family, and you need to always stay strong because it won't get any easier, but the rewards would always be greater.  If you knew then what I know now, would you still go through everything?  You may have a few regrets, but I am sure that you would never turn your back on being a mother to Andre and Micah because that is the greatest achievement I could be proud of today.  I want you to enjoy every moment of being a mother, forget about all the things of the past and just keep moving forward.  You have to accept that life is not perfect, but that we should always be thankful even for the imperfections because then we learn to appreciate life more.  Always strive to be happy and be a blessing to others.  

          Keep on dreaming because life is always full of possibilities!!


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