Saturday, July 26, 2014

Senseless

"Everything happens for a reason".  That is what I tell myself when life diverts from its normal path and I can't seem to take control of the wheel.  Somehow when you tell yourself that, you start to convince yourself that things in your life don't always go as planned and that once in a while you have to let go and let the big guy up there take control of your life.  

But what if something as terrible as the violent death of someone you know happens? No amount of reason can justify the killing of doctor who has shown nothing but kindness and generosity to his patients.  The first time I heard the news that a doctor was gunned down at his clinic, I was in shock! This is not the first time that such an incident happened here in Cebu.  Then when I found out that it was a close friend of ours, I was in total disbelief.  I immediately called up my husband, silently hoping and praying that Dr. Abbu was okay.  Ross answered his phone I could hear a lot of background noise, he told me he was at the OR and sadly my husband blurted out the words I had been dreading, "Chin, wala na si Dr. Abbu."  Those words pierced my heart and the tears just started falling. I had to get up, leave my desk and compose myself.  Memories of the last time I saw him flashed through my mind, he had this big smile that would brighten up any room.  He would always give me a hug or a pat on the back whenever we would see each other.  It is just so sad knowing that he had to leave us in such a tragic way.  I often wonder what was going through his mind during those last few moments of his life, and it hurts to think that he might have felt fear when he saw that gun being aimed at him and pain when the bullet pierced his arm and his chest.  He did not deserve to die that way, no one deserves to!

There are still questions that might never be answered... wounds that might never heal, a lot of us are still in a state of shock and denial.  For others, Dr. Abbu might just be a name on the news, but for those whose lives he has touched, he was a kind person, who always has that smile on his face.  He had a good heart and a generous spirit.  I would never forget your advice to Ross and me, to always value our family above all things, and to be grateful for whatever it is we have right now.  Thank you Doc, it was a blessing to have known someone like you.  We might never understand why you were taken so soon, but I pray that you find peace in the arms of our Creator.


Rest in peace Dr. Abbu,  my prayers are with you as you journey back home to our Creator...

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Monday, July 14, 2014

Healing In Time

When you fall down and cut yourself, the wounds do not heal overnight.  It goes through stages of wound healing.  The first few days would be the most difficult because the wound is fresh and the pain would constantly remind you of how you got injured in the first place.  The next few days, the skin starts to repair itself by granulation tissue formation, neovascularization and eventually scar formation or remodeling. In a couple of weeks the wound would be completely healed, but the scar remains as a reminder of the wound that once was in it's place.

But unlike physiologic wound that follows the same healing process irregardless of the wound severity, healing from pain caused by emotional or psychological trauma is a totally different story.  Healing usually takes time... a lot of time, but sadly for some healing does not come at all.

Pain is inevitable, that is true.  No one is free from pain.  It is part of our lives... pain is what makes us human.  We all have been victims of it one way or the other.  Pain from a broken heart, failed relationships, pain from loss of a loved one, betrayal, or pain from life's failures and disappointment.  So when a person gets hurt, when does healing come in?  I believe that healing starts when you learn to forgive the person who caused you pain and slowly learn to let go of all the painful memories you hold in your heart.

I personally have my own share of hurts and disappointments in my life.  The pain can be so overwhelming that at one point I was afraid I might never get over it.  But I would not allow myself to suffer for the mistake of others.  I owe it to myself to brush away the tears, pick myself up and move forward. 

To heal and recover from life's major injuries is a choice.  Of course it helps if you have a strong support system rallying behind you.  But even if you have a whole pep squad cheering you on, the only person that can help you is yourself.  Healing should begin within you.  Start with forgiveness.  Forgive those who have hurt you as well as forgive yourself for allowing them to hurt you.  Then comes acceptance.  Accept that the past can never be changed and that things happen for a reason.  Learn to let go.  Let go of the things you have no control of, and be hopeful that beautiful things are yet to come.

Even if your heart has been broken into a million pieces, you can always mend and put the pieces back together again.  It may take a while before you start feeling whole again.  Healing is a daily process of forgiveness, acceptance and letting go.  Let time heal the wounds and help you forget the painful memories of the past and allow yourself to look forward to a wonderful tomorrow.



 


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