Friday, October 3, 2014

A Woman's Story

I seldom see you with a frown on your face.  You always manage to put on that happy smile.  But behind those smile lies a story that has never been told.  

That seemingly happy person you see on the outside, is silently screaming out in pain from within.  But she manages to suppress all the pain and the hurt inside her.

I have always believed that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.  At one point in our lives, we would all get bruised and broken from trials and challenges we would encounter.  But I guess the degree of pain would vary depending on what life decides to throw your way.  For example, the severity of pain for a  couple who  falls out of love and decides mutually to go their separate ways would be less severe compared to a woman finding out that the man he loves cheated on her.  Others would say that there is no point in comparison, because in both instances people get hurt either way,  But the degree of acceptance would be different, and of course the letting go and moving on part would be far more difficult for the latter situation.

This I realized when I heard this woman's story... that at one point in your life, when you feel pain, there is always suffering... and sadly it is never optional.  Her story is one that you hear often, she caught her husband cheating on her with a much younger woman.  If she had not told me, I would never have imagined that it could happen to her.  She looked like a person who never had a single problem in the world, but when she opened up to me, the pain in her voice almost brought me to tears.  I have never imagined a person going through so much pain and suffering, yet is still able to go about normally in her life.  Because she wants people to believe that things are normal between her and the husband, that is what she said.  I can feel that there is still anger when she talks about the incident, and she always gets anxious whenever her husband leaves home to go to work or somewhere with his friends.  She said it happened a long time ago, and that she had forgiven her husband for what he did.  I asked her then, if that is the case then why are you still suffering for the mistakes that you never did.  You were not unfaithful, you did not cheat on your husband, but here you are, broken from within.  She never got to answer.  

I have heard a lot of stories of women who suffered from failed relationships, abuse, and betrayal, some of them manage to come out of it stronger and more determined to go on with their lives, while others remain unsure of themselves, feeling insecure, broken and sadly others hold on to the pain.  Why do we suffer too much when we get hurt?  I guess because there is a part of us that blames ourselves for what happened.  So it is never enough to just forgive those who have wronged us.  Before the woman left I asked her to think about a few things starting with learning to forgive herself for allowing the husband to hurt her in the past, I guess that would be a good way to lessen the suffering she is in right now.  She nodded and we agreed on our next meeting, she stood up and bravely flashed that smile on her face.  

As she walked away, I see her smiling and talking with someone on her way out.  She was back to her "usual self", the happy person she wanted people to believe her to be... if they only knew of this woman's story...

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